Tears, Shatter, and Joy
by Espiritus
Summary: Kaoru hated how the fictitious legend of Battousai made her people weak, but more than that she hated how the man behind the legend wanted to claim her for his own. BK. AU, not present day.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. This story isn't going to be very dark, maybe a twilight-ish color.

Hmmm...I don't really like this title either so I might change it in the future. Good titles are so hard to come upon nowadays.

Kaoru hated how the fictitious legend of Battousai made her people weak, but how was she supposed to know that the legend was actually true? KBK. AU, not present day.

I'm really not into the whole possessive thing, though I do like some stories, but I'm going to give this a try just to see where it goes. I'm planning on having fun so if you see something you don't like just drop a review and we'll talk about it like calm adults. How's that? Because I do so detest when people flame me and don't leave an email address or something so I can defend myself.

**Tears, Shatter, and Joy  
Introduction  
By: Espiritus**

"Battousai will save us," her mother whispered on her death bed. Kaoru shut her eyes tightly.

How wrong her mother was even at death, fooled so completely by a legend told many years ago about a red-haired swordsman who would free them and their people. The lies her people told disgusted Kaoru; they shouldn't kept their hopes in a man, legend or not. It was_ their_ lives,_ their_ future and it was up to them and them alone to right the wrongs and bring justice to the land. Not some legend that never existed.

"Sure, mother." Kaoru said softy admitting nothing of her own feelings. Her mother knew though, her mother knew and smiled touching her middle daughter's cheek.

"Believe, Kaoru. Believe and hope for a better future." Kaoru placed her own hand on top of her mother's shaking one, cold as it had been for the past few months. It was death's claim and Kaoru hated more than anything, more than her father's betrayal.

She did not want to argue with her mother now like she had so many times before, but the repulsion welling within her would not calm. Why didn't people try to better their own lives instead of waiting for some man to do it for them? If they rose together against injustices imposed upon them then maybe they wouldn't have to be slaves to the Ora. Maybe they could be free like the stories from five hundred years ago told of. Maybe, Kaoru sighed…there was too many of those.

"I do believe, mother, in God that granted us life, who is all around us." Kaoru explained moving her arm around the room to emphasis her point. "I believe that the Grand Creator gave us the power to rebel against the evils done against us, but I do not believe, refuse to believe, in a legend which has no trace of truth."

"The Creator has no trace of truth," her mother pointed out, a smile on her thin lips.

Kaoru sighed. That was so much different. Kaoru placed her hands to her heart feeling its living pulsation; this was a gift only a god could give, the Grand Creator. "No, mother, you're wrong. I see the Creator everywhere, and that is my truth. The legend of Battousai was made out of the frail hopes of a dying people."

"No," her mother stated stronger, blue eyes flashing. "The legend had been around long before our enslavement, a prophecy made hundred of years before the events occurred which ruined our people."

"Prophecies," Kaoru snorted, "that's all anyone ever talks about, mother. Why don't we at least try to..."

"Impossible, Kaoru." Her mother's voice weakened and Kaoru felt stab of guilt for arguing with a dying woman.

How much more disrespectful could she be? Yet she had always been defiant not allowing anyone to walk over her beliefs yet still listened to other beliefs with open ears, all except the legend of Battousai. The legend made her people weak, dependent and Kaoru sometimes want to scream at them all to wake up and take action into their own hands. They may die, but they would die with the fire of honor and not with a whimper in silence.

"We're non magical, our suppressors are, and therefore, we stand no chance."

"But, mother..." The woman raised a hand, cough, and smiled.

"You're made of wind, Kaoru, always were; one moment you are calm and the next moment you're a raging storm. Your sister, Misao, reminds me of fire, and Megumi reminds me of solid earth, stable and firm." Her mother's eyes lighted up in dreamy haze of emotion, and Kaoru smiled at her mother's fanciful thoughts. Her mother was a dreamer like her but different.

Kaoru grabbed her mother's hand and squeezed while despair fell over her soul as the knowledge that this would be one of the last, if not the last, time she would have a deep conversation with her mother. Over the next few days she would fall into Agony, and then the mother she knew would be gone though her body would remain withering in pain.

"And you, mother, are water. You always carved a new path for yourself, never could be trapped, and always fit and molded into each situation given to you. You have been stronger than us all and," Kaoru bit her lower lip willing herself not to cry; her mother asked them not to cry for her. "Thank you, mama. Thank you for loving us."

The woman smiled once more shaking her head, "Don't thank me for something I wanted all my life to do, Kaoru."

And that was the last conversation Kaoru ever had with her mother before the Agony took over her body. Her mother became a shell after that, no longer the beautiful and strong woman she had once been, and Kaoru came to hate the legend all the more.

Her mother died because of it, because she spread the fictional news.

&&&&

The rain increased, Kaoru noticed, by the beating on the window. The only candle in the room flickered back and forth with a stray wind which ran through the cracks in their house. Megumi sat on the other side of the table mending their cloths, and Misao stood staring out the window her hands pressed against the breaking glass.

Earlier that day, they buried their mother. She suffered for two months under the Agony before it finally took her life, after it broke her spirit.

Kaoru did not like the concept of hate the only time ever coming close to the emotion was when their father abandoned them, leaving without reason, without a goodbye, but right now Kaoru wanted to hate magic for all its black curses. She wanted nothing more to do with the magic that other half of the population of their world had; it gave too much power, and too much power led to too much corruption.

Her mother said that they were nothing against magic, but Kaoru refused to believe that. She was not water like her mother, she did not mold into her situations, instead she took them and made her fate and destiny hers; she was determined to be the mistress of her own life and not the other way around. She was wind; she could not be captured nor controlled.

"Mother loved the rain," Misao said suddenly bringing forth two sets of eyes to look upon her. Misao smiled turning to face her sisters. "She lived an excellent life, the best she could, don't you think?"

"I miss her too, Misao." Megumi said before resuming her mending. Kaoru gave an encouraging smile at her younger sister.

"Yes, she did love the rain, Misao. Do you remember how she always took us out when it rained and made us dance as if we were fairies?"

Misao laughed bringing her arms out and twirling around the drab room. Misao could make any place radiate with light and joy, it was an enviable trait that the baby of their family possessed, and Kaoru became infested with laughter as she watched Misao spin about the room, still girl in many senses of the world yet wise in her own way. They were all wise in their own ways.

"And don't forget, Kaoru, how she put flowers in our hair as we danced."

Megumi looked up from her mending. "Or weeds if no flowers could be found."

"Which was almost always the case," Kaoru finished off smiling at her eldest sister.

The rain pounded harder against the window and a few stray drops fell from the ceiling. Megumi sighed as she reached for a bucket placing it where the rain drops fell. _Tink. Tink. Tink._

Misao smiled. "Almost sounds like music that the Oraians listen to, doesn't it?"

Kaoru nodded her head for the sake of agreeing, but all three of them knew nothing compared to the Oraians' music. Kaoru had heard one song many years ago; it was a haunting, sad tune like that of angels' song. Among her people it was said that the Grand Creator blessed them Itself, and Kaoru again felt the welling of disgust.

Why did her people think so lowly of themselves? Did they not have more honor than that?

Five hundred years in slavery does that to the spirit, her mother's words whispered. Yet if that were true, why was she like she was? Why did she retain a hope that her people could make their lives better, could be equal once more to the Oraians?

"You look lost in thought, Kaoru. Want to talk about it?" Megumi asked sitting back down and resuming her mending.

Kaoru watch the needle flow into her vision and then disappeared behind the rough cloth once more and did not speak for a long time. Megumi said nothing more knowing her sister needed time to think; she only pushed when necessary, and with her younger sisters it happened more often then she would have liked.

"It's the same thing, Megumi."

Oh, so it was that.

She placed her mending on her lap as Misao settled herself into the other chair. "It's about our people again, isn't it?" Megumi asked casually.

"I can't stand it, Megumi. You know I can't stand to see how we all just stand here and do nothing." Kaoru stood up quickly and started pacing the room, her hands curled into tight balls. "I want to go to the north, join the rebellions and at least try to make something with my life other than slavery."

Megumi pursed her lips understanding her sister's anger, she too felt it, but how could they escape? They were watched, branded like animals, and it took great planning and luck to escape from one's master family. Misao played with her fingers, a stray laugh bubbling from her throat.

"So you want to try and escape, go to the north and join the rebellions?"

"Yes," Kaoru said lowering her voice. "I stayed only for mother's and your own sakes."

"They're dying faster than ever before, Kaoru. The Oraians are getting smarter in their tracking and killing; you've seen the fliers the post on our doors." Megumi explained logically thinking of the paper outside their very door telling of the latest battle - a victory for the Oraians. Their kind hadn't prevailed since the beginning of The Blood Purification, the beginning of their enslavement five hundred years before.

"Megumi, I'm not afraid."

"If they find you before you make it to the rebellions, they will make you into a pleasure slave and the place the Agony on you. They will break your spirit more than one time, Kaoru. They will do anything to break your spirit even if it means lowering one of their own kind to have sex with you."

It was true, only a select few were pleasure slaves because the Oraians thought it beneath them to couple with one of her own kind. The notion revolted them and Kaoru was glad of that because that meant freedom in one aspect for them.

"I know and I'm not afraid, Megumi, but I don't want to leave you two alone either."

Misao smiled and placed her hand on her sister's. "Megumi, I say we go with Kaoru."

Kaoru shot her sister and incredulous look; Misao rarely spoke of her feelings dealing with their enslavement, she always had a smile on her face instead. Smiles hid many things Kaoru had come to find because of her younger sister.

Megumi shook her head and sighed. "I can't decide your fate for you, but I will worry."

Before Kaoru could speak, Misao did first. "Why don't you want to come, Megumi?"

Megumi gave a sad smile, her eyes tearing up. "I can't leave the orphans by themselves, Misao."

Kaoru, in her selfishness, had forgotten about the children Megumi took care of and another wave guilt over powered her. Could she leave her sister? Would they place the Agony onto her for both Misao and herself trying to escape?

"I wish I could go with you, but I can't. We each have our own paths to choose from and I chose this." Megumi said placing her hands on the table. "I know that look, Kaoru, and don't you dare feel quilt." Megumi tuned stern. "I wish you two the best paths in life, you were made for greater things then this world has to offer...I want you two to know that."

"Megumi..." Kaoru started feeling as though she was losing her sister, and in reality, if Misao and she decided to leave, she truly would. In reality, in they left they would never see her again. "I can't go then. I can't leave you alone." Misao nodded in agreement.

"No!" Megumi whispered harshly standing up imposingly touching her heart with a hand. "I chose my path, Kaoru and Misao, it's time for you to chose yours. Go and make a better future for the children I stay to look after. Go and be free for whatever amount of time you have."

And Kaoru found that she could say nothing to Megumi, and for once, Misao neither spoke nor moved.

**A/N:** Keep in mind this is just the prologue and that all things confusing will be explained in time. So the last part probably sucked, but it was a bit hard to write. I don't think I got my point across, but oh well. Do leave a review if you can, they motivate me. Thanks for reading!

_Espiritus_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

**Tears, Shatter, and Joy  
****Chapter One  
****By: Espiritus**

_Five years later..._

Tears no longer came when the Agony tore another soul apart. It had taken five years for her to become immune to its cold, deathly chill but she finally stopped crying. The person who laid on the damp cot was no more than a boy, blond haired and blue eyed, but neither his looks nor charm had been able to save him from his fate - a fate that most supporters of the rebellion suffered; not many were lucky enough for death to come quickly. The Oraians wanted more than that, they craved for suffering. They desired the Agony.

Not all Oraians were like that though as Kaoru had come to find. Just as in all societies people of different personalities and beliefs dwelled - one man was like that, the man who stood by her side with a constant smile on his youthful, round face. But even he was different from all others, terrifyingly different.

"There goes another, Miss Kaoru," he said pulling the covers over the blond haired boy's face. Kaoru could only nod in response before standing. "I liked him too; he was a decent warrior."

_Just like that_, Kaoru asked herself. _Just like that Soujiro can say goodbye forever._

Kaoru's fingers trickled over the white blanket barely touching the contours of Arian's, the dead boy, body. Tears no longer came now, but sadness lingered ever present, ever consuming, ever waiting to suck the life up of its victim and those around him or her. Despair like death hovered next to her heart dearly like old friends would, taking but never giving.

"I wish," Kaoru began laying her hand on Arian's blanket covered cheek. "I wish sometimes I had magical abilities. I wish I could find a cure for the Agony."

Kaoru sighed folding her hand into her other before glancing at Soujiro's smiling face. He too faced misery and pain so intense that pain became pleasure for him, and so he smiled. Kaoru tried to understand her friend but his depths were far too dark, too deep that if she dug far enough she would never escape his own darkness.

"Miss Kaoru, things are the way they are." He sighed lifting his arms in mockery. "You yourself told me that three years ago and I've taken it to heart. Please try not to change your mind."

Kaoru blinked amazed at how Soujiro's voice could sound childish yet so deep and deceptively sweet. Many a time she had seen the blood of his people on his pale hands, seen him smile through pain and it chilled her to the bone. Soujiro perfected the art of thrashing his emotions by placing them into those dark, inescapable depths he harbored.

Kaoru placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded. "Yes things are as they are, Soujiro, but I can wish and hope."

His boyish smile widened and Kaoru felt as though she had fallen into a trap. He constantly questioned her, followed her wanting to learn her thoughts. Kaoru could feel him probing her mind at times, with his magic, searching for answers that she did not have and he did not ask. It was as if Soujiro wanted to soak her all in, know about her soul and all, and it infuriated her to such an extent that one day he could no longer see inside her, no longer probe her mind. He never asked how and she never questioned how she had done it; the event remained unspeakable.

"Just as people hope and wish for Battousai?"

Soujiro's eyes sparked maliciously for a moment before laughing slightly knowing he caught her in a trap. Kaoru froze, her eyes strained on the man-boy in front of her before lowering her face. Outside the winter sky burned a bright blue. Outside a bitter cold wind rustled the barren tree limbs. Outside the fires of the rebel's sparked and snapped orange, red, and yellow. Outside serenity and life prospered for a sweet time.

"Hope and wish..."

"For Battousai," Soujiro said laughing putting his hands to his face like a child. Kaoru thought he was like a child in many ways, but in many ways not. Children held the capability to love; Soujiro lost that ability with his sanity.

"No, Soujiro," her voice firmed and he stopped like a child caught in mischievous activities. "There are two types of hopes and wishes. One kind makes a person weak and dependent, unable to stand on their own two feet. It makes them give up and place their lives and decisions onto another; it shatters the soul. Then there is the other, the kind which strengthens the soul, makes a man alight with fire and courage and purpose. Those are the two kinds I have seen within my life, and I have chosen the second."

Insanity sparked in his green eyes while firm shade of blue spread over her own, and Kaoru feared those insane green eyes in that moment. Beneath the surface of Soujiro's cover of sanity, his twisted logic loomed the insanity of his mind. Kaoru could see it through his eyes with every battle and death, with every jab meant to make her take back her own words. Never did it work. She was always one step ahead. She had to be.

"I'll remember that, Miss Kaoru, and I never forget what you say."

"I know, Soujiro. I know you never forget." Kaoru admitted walking out of the room.

She wanted to get away from Arian's body, from the memories of the boy who held a fancy for her and tried to win her hand on mere charm and laughter. Arain, the country boy with a vigor for life and land; Arian, the boy who she had seen grow into a man. Her hear pulsated in pain, and Soujiro's laughter followed.

"And I expect you never to forget what you say, Miss Kaoru, or else I'll be severely disappointed."

There was a threat in those words hidden by his gentle instruction. He was like a child asking for his mother not to forget a promise, but this child Kaoru knew could harm her and she was not sure if he would actually go through with any threat on her. At this moment in their relationship, he would not cause her harm, but Soujiro's personality could be compared to a tight wire which could snap at any pull of tension. Kaoru did not want to be that tension.

It would have been stupid to not fear this Oraian; stupid not to be cautious around him. Kaoru prayed every night that he would one day regain his sanity and have those depths of his be filled with light. It was one of her many wishes.

"Looks like a messenger is nearing," Soujiro said nudging her, and Kaoru looked out past their facility onto the makeshift road.

True to Soujiro's sight a person on horseback was nearing, fast. All around her the rebels became alive with motion scrambling around to secure their base just in case a trap was in store, but they did it on precaution only. Soujiro or Okina or one of the other Oraians would have felt a disturbance if anything was amiss.

Kaoru walked up to the entrance and waited until the horse rider neared and found to her surprise that it was a woman whom she had met once before, a woman known as Shura of the Water. She was known to patrol the seas with skill matching that of the Oraians themselves.

Okina came to stand next to her and Soujiro both, the rest of the rebels behind them, and waited until Shura jumped off her horse and briskly walked to them. Short green hair stood out against her pearl colored tunic while matching sea foam eyes pierced Kaoru with precision before a relieved but miserable smile blossomed.

"Okina," Shura began but Kaoru did not listen. There was nothing feminine in the women before her; she stood with a composure that spoke of strength and purpose, her back making her look like she had always carried an enormous weight all her life without ever slouching or relaxing. After an exchange of pleasantries with Okina, Shura's gaze switched to Kaoru once again and her face softened.

"Long time no see."

"Very long," Kaoru answered holding out her hand that Shura took in her own.

"I have a letter for you from your sister." Kaoru blinked.

Misao had been gone for two years now because of their separate and chosen paths. Once they made it to the North five years ago, they stayed by one another until their one road forked. Misao decided to remain with the northern rebellion feeling that her leadership was needed there while Kaoru felt called to join the rebellion in the West. They parted with no tears but memories knowing that they might never see the other again just as they neither heard nor saw Megumi.

Three sisters. Three chosen paths. Three separate lives from one another. Three choices to part forever.

"Our last attack," Shura continued, "failed. Our casualties were greater than usual and we were forced to retreat." Shura became silent for a moment and realization prompted Kaoru to look towards Okina, his face grim and lips tight. "The Hitokiri lead them."

Fear raced through her blood; Soujiro's childish beam mixing with her emotions was just as powerful as Okina's acceptance of the situation. Blood pounded in her ears, Megumi's voice whispered all around and a vision of Misao five years before spinning around their old home tore at her mind. _Her sister...her sister..._

"My sister...is she...is she alright?"

Shura said nothing, no emotion, nothing. A pit formed beneath her feet, dark and enchanting, sweetly and deceptively calling. No! It screamed, hissed, breathed. No! Her throat tightened, her muscles cramped, her world spun, and all Shura could say was, "I have a letter from your sister."

&&&&

"Her reaction was acceptable." Soujiro said gratefully taking a cup of cinnamon tea from Okina's hands, the older man revealing nothing of his thoughts. Shura cringed at the young man's dismissive tone but smile because she could think of nothing to say. When the news had been revealed, Shura could not bring herself to say anything more than that her sister wrote her a letter because the emptiness in Kaoru's blue eyes chilled her.

Yes, emptiness had been master of Kaoru's blue eyes before Soujiro stated, "Things are as they are, Miss Kaoru."

The woman with blue eyes only nodded and replied with the same sentence weariness in her voice. No tears had fallen from those eyes of hers; she merely withdrew her hand from Shura's own, turned her back, and walked away. Soujiro's eyes narrowed and he went to follow but Okina stopped him shaking his head. Craziness, some flash of light, blazed in Soujiro's face before the boy smiled and faced Okina with the same adoration as he had done with Kaoru.

Soiled innocence, that's what Soujiro was.

Shura played with her own cup moving it in a circle as Soujiro continued speaking. "She is amazing isn't she, Mr. Okina? She thinks she's so smart, and she is. She is, isn't she?"

Okina weary face nodded in reply. "Soujiro, I think it would be for the best if you stayed away from her for a while. Let the girl mourn."

A tension settled over the three and Shura felt her instincts command her to run, run far from that room, but she refused wanting and fearing to see what would happen. Then Soujiro's smiled changed into something Shura could never call happy. This smile differed from any other she had ever seen. Venom. That was the only word which could fit his smile - venom.

Her heart lurched, and a quick glance to Okina revealed that the man felt no fear of his fellow Oraian. He looked older in that instant, his gaze in another time and place, his emotions were no longer in the room but elsewhere. He held no fear and the pink hair tie capturing his beard made him look silly despite his solemn face.

"Miss Kaoru does not mourn. She says things are as they are; she does not cry over that."

"Enough, young man! Things are as they are but that does not mean she cannot cry over the present. I'm ordering you to stay away from her for at least today and tomorrow. She has no need for your company."

But the door had already close, Soujiro's venomous presence gone; Shura sighed in relief. "That man..." She began only have Okina stop her.

"Try not to show your fear, Shura, because it will only give that young man pleasure."

Shura looked around the room decorated as any middle class country home would be. Dark wood panels made the floor and walls, light green drapes hung from the windows, and cream colored furniture and tables, as the one they sat at, spanned the room.

"Does it fit your tastes?" Okina asked mentioning the room his stern expression replaced by a grandfatherly composure. The changes in this man amazed her just as much as Soujiro's own did, but instead of poison Okina's presence reminded Shura of times spent with her deceased father's arms wrapped around her during cold winters.

"I know you've been to the Sovereign City so this base must seem drab in comparison." He leaned forward. "Now tell me what happened in the North." Shura placed her cup down masking her face in a blanket of apathy. "Tell me of the Hitokiri."

**A/N: **Whoa! The last part of that chapter was about as hard to write as pulling out a bunch of teeth - bad simile. I had fun though and that's all that really matters. Now, now, don't be all made because of Misao's fate. Stay tuned to see what happened to her, kay.

When I was writing Soujiro I was freaking myself out, I hope I was able to communicate his character as I see him to you. I was trying to make him character but a more demented type of in character. Sorry if I confused you with that.

Thanks for reading!

_Espiritus_


End file.
